Belated New Year's Resolution

First off, I cannot log into my original blog spot, so I guess this will be my new home. Anyone interested in reading any of my old stuff, check out http://kyungkim.blogspot.com/

Now.....it's been a long time. And with consistent insomnia, being 4 am on a Weds right now, my mind is in a whirlwind. Maybe that's why I cant sleep. All this constant thinking, and, thinking of the same shit over and over. It's getting old. It's becoming fermented shit, if that's even possible. So I figured, I need to do some spring cleaning as u may call it. I've decided to make a resolution for myself. Granted, its well into 2009, AND, I've probably made this resolution about 300x now. But this time it's different. Different perhaps because I am writing it down, and, for the whole world to see.

What am I cleaning up first u ask? What else but the men in my lives. Besides the lack of, I really need to cut myself off from these few guys that seem to linger in my life. And not linger in a "mmm still can smell the fresh cotton scent in my linens weeks later" way, but in the "wtf is that stench and why has it not left yet" kind of way. I consider myself to be a pretty smart lady. And I'm sure I can find some friends, maybe a handful that would agree. So why do I constantly set myself up to get rejected, one way or another? When I know these guys are "just not that into me" or deep inside, I know the inevitable of being let down will and do occur. The key word is "do" kids. Is it the consistent feeling of hope, even though minute in size, big on factor? Hmph! I'll never know. Nor do I care anymore to even find out. But what I do know is I need to let go, move on, get rid of ALL of these pestering male icons in my life. And regain my self assurance. I need to live by the words I preach to other singles, that it's okay to be alone. It's okay not to have anyone to call your own. It's okay not to get that attention and affection we all want and desire.............oh what the hell...................

fuck it.