Crazy thing just happened to me today. I've been talking to this guy, someone I've recently met, a stranger, a nobody. So for some time, we converse in emails (cuz that's all we exchanged at the time that we met). The emails were always harmless, the usual getting to know each other routine, talking about our day, commenting about each other's day, a little picking on one another and so on. Well tonight, this gentleman, we'll call him Chris (maybe cuz that is his real name), Chris here asks if I would like to see some of his pictures from his Aspen trip a month ago. Now keep in mind, he's a bit older, a bit more mature then I, well established as a successful banker or another. All I knew was that he made pretty good money to have gone to Aspen, Bora Bora and next is Ireland in a month. So of course, I'm wanting to see these fabulous pictorials. He asks very innocently, if i want to see the goofy ones too. Well of course I do! So he shoots me another email with 3 attachments.
1st pic was beautiful, I'm assuming it's him in the far background, skiing atop of a soft snowy mountain with an endless sea of identical mountains engulfed all around. It was breathtaking. Next photo was of Chris again, trying to juggle various musical instruments at a restaurant and acting silly. The 3rd is another one of Chris wearing his ski mask indoors but dressed only in a t-shirt and shorts being even sillier. Now, these all seemed like fine normal pictures. But then I went back to the 2nd. Not rly sure why, but I did, and there, I spotted the HUGE yet very subtle detail...........his left hand.............his left finger.............a ring! A good ol' solid gold band wrapped around the finger we all call "the ring finger." Hmm.......strange I thought and so of course, I confront him.
Needless to say, he was a bit speechless. He obviously didn't realize the ring was showing and/or that I was going to be that observant. But hey, I'm a woman, its in our bones. So after much fidgeting he says, "I'm not sure what to say." I respond, "how bout just the truth." So he explains, yes, its a wedding ring, and yes he is married BUT (u ladies knew there was a 'but' coming) BUT it's an unhappy marriage......and not rly a marriage, marriage. Now for most of you, you'd be down right upset by now. But, I have to defend him a little. He never technically hit on me, he never rly flirted with me or tried to see me again or get together..........at least YET. But right!!! Why did he even talk to me in the 1st place and why did he ask to exchange email addresses?
Of course, like the typical man, he's apologizing left and right, saying he wanted to tell me, thought about telling me, and that he wasn't sure what was happening exactly bt us. but I'll tell u what was happening, he wanted me to be "the other girl." But, I just simply replied, it's fine and that I just hope he figures out whatever he's trying to figure out and to take care. I just bowed out gracefully.
I know some of you are upset that I didnt do more, or say more to him. But rly, I wasnt upset at him, I was more.....hmmm.......humored u can say. I know it's not funny. But THIS happening to ME (and I should add the word "again") was pretty damn amusing. Especially happening tonight out of any other night. Maybe it's me, these kinds of things always seem to happen. I always get myself in situations with unavailable men. Guys with girlfriends and/or wives always come toward my direction. They seem to know how to always find me.
Chris isn't even the issue. He was just some guy I hardly knew, a stranger, a nobody. The bigger issue is that this, happening tonight, out of all nights, after going thru last night with *him. Is it merely a repeat, a mirror image, to show that the *other very similiar situation that happened, JUST the night before, is merely just as bad as this" bad news Chris" is? Am I supposed to sit back and be entertained at this ironic yet somewhat poetic night? How and why is this so similar to last night? What am I to make of all this? That, all the good guys are taken, and all the guys that are taken are rly just assholes camouflaged by their girlfriends?
So what should I do about *him, the other guy......
2 comments:
I simply don't understand why people that are unhappily married don't simply get divorced. You know my feeling about all that. Don't think it was really needed for you to say anything more to him, since you called him out on it.
As for him, you know and I know what should be done. You just need believe your able to and pull the trigger so to speak.
So, I have a theory about this whole unavailable guy thing, because YOU KNOW I get the same thing over and over again. I think it's a combo of two different things. One is that we subconsciously can sense it, so it's a "safe" relationship. Don't know how much stock I put in that.
My second, more solid theory, is that we represent the "what ifs" to these guys. We're living fun, happy lives. We're free spirits, so to say. We do what we want, go where we want, strive towards our dreams. We're not part of "society" in ways that most people are. We're not trudging through our existence (well, sometimes we are, but for the most part, we're not). Guys see in us what they could've been or had if they hadn't settled down into what society expected of them. In us, they see their dreams and hopes still viable, and that's why the want us.
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