Its Sunday evening, valentine's day, sitting home alone. Exactly how I should be I realized. There's a lot of healing that needs to be done with me, and I can't do that while constantly trying to stay busy with distractions. When I get just a moment with my thoughts, I feel like I'm going to collapse. Sometimes the pain, the betrayal, the sadness is unbearable. I know one day I'll look back at all this and realize its for the best, or why did I even waste my time, or how did I give so much. But to get to that point seems so out of reach. It seems impossible. But maybe today's just one of those bad days. And tomorrow will be better.